She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
