Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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