Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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