It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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