we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
