The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
