We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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