Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
