Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
