Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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