Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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