New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
