He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's the barista slut.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
