So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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