she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
