The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
