I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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