sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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