I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
