The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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