problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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