It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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