So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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