covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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