Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
