I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
