apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
