i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize