You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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