She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
