i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
