Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize