The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
