Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer

(1-954): View more from Florida

That Cesar Milan is captivating

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(574): View more from Indiana

I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?

(1-574): View more from Indiana

Predator. Straight up.

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(614): View more from Ohio

All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave

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(954): View more from Florida

I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.

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(650): View more from California

OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

who are you?

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