if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
