Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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