we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
