there was a trapeze. enough said
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
