Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
