HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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