Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
