im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
