I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize