Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
