Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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