Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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