How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I bet he comes in French.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
