OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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