I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
