Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
