im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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