yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
