one two three fourrrrnication!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
