Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
