You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
